


Now That's What I Call Earth 2092

by bromelle



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bilingual Hunk (Voltron), Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bilingual Shiro (Voltron), Earth Memes, Gen, Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Platonic Relationships, Spontaneous We Will Rock You, This Is STUPID, earth culture, plot if you squint, slumber parties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-03 20:21:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16332824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bromelle/pseuds/bromelle
Summary: The aliens of the castle ship get a dose of Earth culture.---AU where the castle was never destroyed and the team goes home in peace.





	1. "That" Year

Majority of the team was spread out in the common room. Pidge was clacking away on her computer, Matt over her shoulder, while Lance was kicking his legs back and forth humming to himself. Keith and Krolia were nowhere to be seen, presumably on the training deck, and Hunk was puttering in and out of the kitchen, trying to make use of the latest ingredients picked up from the last planet. Shiro was dozing off next to Romelle who was braiding Kosmo's hair.

"Hey Lance?"

"Yeah Pidge?"

"In Cuba was it also a thing to have that year in elementary school where it was completely normal for kids to just throw up in the middle of class?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just curious."

 

Coran and Allura just so happened to drop in at that moment, ready to announce the next planet they would be stopping by, but froze and shared a look of horror, trying to process the new information.

 _"What the quisack?!"_ Romelle muttered to herself. She was the only one to notice Coran and Allura frozen in the doorway, looking just as confused as she felt. She jutted her lips out in a pout, something she often saw Lance do when he was thinking. Perhaps she needed to brush up on Earth culture.

 

 


	2. Alien Language

  
  
  


“¡prisa! ¡prisa! ¡tenemos que vencer a lo mejor de Pidge y Hunk!”(hurry hurry! We have to beat hunk and pidge’s personal best!” [/beat the best of hunk and pidge]) Lance yelled from above the training room where he was guiding Keith through the maze.

 

“Lance you know I can't understand you. Yelling at me in another language isn't going to help.”

 

Lance sighed in defeat. He was ready to give up and from the scowl on the other boy’s face, so was Keith.

 

Allura and Shiro stood off to the side, watching everyone train. Yelling and laser blips bounced off the walls into their ears. Hunk and Pidge were off to the side, back to back, fighting drones. Allura’s ears twitched when she heard the unfamiliar language across the training deck. She turned to Shiro with a curious expression.

 

“What did Lance just say?” She whispered.

Shiro was spacing out and her voice snapped him back into reality. “Hm?” He exclaimed perhaps a bit too loud. “Oh I have no idea.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, and mumbled to herself more than anyone, “Strange… The castle should have translating it… Where did he learn this language?”

“What do you mean the castle should have translated it?”

“Oh! Right of course, I thought you all knew by now. As you know, Alteans are a diplomatic species. It’s important to know how to speak to all different kinds of creatures. The castle has been programmed with technology used to understand different species. It doesn’t work for all of them, like the mice for example. But we have translations for almost every species we’ve encountered. That’s how we are understanding each other right now! You will hear this in Earthling, but I hear everything you say in Altean.”

“Wow.” He didn’t really know what to say. That explained a lot about their interactions with other species. It was very suspicious that Coran and Allura spoke perfect English, let alone the rest of the galaxies they’ve traveled. 

“That’s why it's abnormal that I cannot understand Lance. I’ve heard everything he’s said in Altean, besides that. Very few words slip between the cracks of the translator. That also leaves the question of, where did he learn this new alien language?”

“It’s not an alien language. Well, to me at least. I suppose it still is for you and Coran. The language Lance was speaking, does come from Earth.”

“But I don’t understand…” Allura whispered. “Why can’t either of us understand him if he’s still speaking Earthling?”

“I think you should ask him about it. He can probably explain better than I can.”

“Hmm… Thank you Shiro. I’ll keep that idea in mind.”

 

\---

 

“Lance? May I speak with you for a moment?”

The blue paladin perked up at his name being called. “Why of course princess, how can I be of help to you?” he purred. 

Allura scrunched her nose in disgust, but decided to ignore Lance’s pitiful attempts at flirting, as usual. “I was wondering if you could explain to me how language works on Earth. The Castle only translates what I thought was Earth’s only language.”

“Oh! Is this because of how I was speaking Spanish during training?”

“Yes.. Your ‘Spanish’” She did not desire to learn how badly she butchered the pronunciation.

“Well you see Princess,” he began, “Earth has only been super connected for a relatively short amount of time.”

She nodded in understanding, giving Lance the go ahead to continue. 

“For a long time humans, our species, didn’t know that there were more than the people from their own nation. Each part of the world created their own way to communicate.”

“Wait, but when you discovered each other, why didn’t you decide on one language.” 

“Allura, that’s where there’s the difference between Earth and Altea. We’re not a diplomatic species. We fought each other, for good reason too. Earth seems huge to most humans, gigantic. It seems as vast as the galaxy we know. The culture varies like it does planet to planet.”

Allura remained silent throughout his explanation, nodding her head to show she is listening. “I believe I am beginning to understand.”

“Good, good. To sum it up, Earth’s lack of connection made for an interesting mix of culture. I know Hunk and Shiro are bilingual, but I can’t speak for Keith and Pidge. I actually know three languages. As humans grew more connected it became more common to share our cultures and learn each other's languages. That’s how I was with Hunk and Pidge, despite being from another region.”

“Wow Lance, I never realized you have thought this in depth about this kind of thing.”

He scratched the back of his neck bashfully. “I guess you could say I’m pretty passionate about my culture.”

“Thank you for sharing with me, this was wonderful to learn about. Perhaps we could all learn more about each other's homes!”

“Princess that’s a wonderful idea!! Do you think we could temporarily cut out the translators so we can learn each other’s languages?” He beamed. 

Allura smiled. “I’m sure Coran will be ecstatic about this and will find a way.”

Lance’s smile remained, but his eyes became distant. “Thank you, Allura. I’ve been away from home for a long time, even before we left Earth. I’m really glad you took interest.”

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “How about we go organize one of those Earth ‘Slumber Parties’ you’re always talking about?”

“Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I failed middle school Spanish don't @ me


	3. We Will Rock You

After being in space together for years it was quite easy to pick up on each other's mannerisms. Especially when they were as noticeable as Lance's tapping.

 

Typically they were beats to songs Keith has never heard before. Sometimes Lance would hum under his breath and he'd vaguely recognize the Spanish slipping off his tongue, or the mumblings of Earth pop songs.

 

Keith never listened to that sort of music back on Earth. Even though the planet was well into the 2090's, he never really grew out of the 2010's nostalgia. It was a typical phase considering what a revolutionary generation it was, not to mention the end of the whole Generation [insert letter here]. He just never got over it considering that's really the only kinds of stations he could reach in his shack back in Arizona. Specifically the classic rock and emo stations. No one could deny, the earlier 2000's had some fucking bops. Or at least that's what Keith was pretty sure people called good songs back then.

 

But there was one iconic beat that EVERY human knew no matter where they were from, because it was on the infamous list of songs that would get white people fucking zazzed.

 

So when Keith heard the subtle "boom boom tap" of Lance's foot in the cockpit he could not resist.

 _"Buddy you're a boy make a big noise playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day,"_ he mumbled to himself.

Lance heard him and gasped dramatically. "YOU GOT MUD ON YO FACE. YA BIG DISGRACE."

By this time the rest of the humans and even Krolia had caught on and belted out, "KICKIN' YOUR CAN ALL OVER THE PLACE"

"Singin'!" Pidge howled while everyone else continued the thunderous beat.

"Coran what are they doing"

_We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you_

"It almost sounds like some sort of... team chant?" Romelle chimed in.

 _Buddy you're a young man hard man_  
Shouting in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on yo' face

"It's uh.. certainly something," Coran grimaced.

_You big disgrace_   
_Wavin' your banner all over the place_

Krolia was whooping joyously now and beaming. "Ah Paladins you remind me of Keith's father. He used to play this on his radio."

Keith smiled back at his mother, happy to have a shared piece of Earth while they were so far from home.

 

\---

"Is it just me or every day do they raise new questions?" Romelle asked no one in particular. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone bother me in the comments and remind me to write that slumber party so the alteans can be educated on Earth culture


	4. Doing Her Best™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura is Doing Her Best™ and Lance is there to help.

“EVERYONE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATELY!” Allura bellowed over the castle’s speakers.

Lance stood beside her in his sleep clothes with a hand on his hip. “Wow Princess, I never pegged you as the dramatic one.”

Allura turned her attention back to Lance and hunched her shoulders. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to do something like this, Lance. With being a princess, then the war, and Voltron, I didn’t have much time to be a teenager.”

“Don’t worry Allura,” He smiled. “We can change that.”

 

Soon enough everyone stumbled into the bridge. Krolia and Keith were fresh off the training deck, wearing their Blade uniforms with Kosmo trailing behind them. Romelle was catching her breath next to a less than amused Holt duo, who were previously in the middle of building Rover 2.0. Hunk and Shiro followed after, the only two in their Paladin armor. Coran had been in the room the entire time, but only now chose to poke his head out from the Earth articles he was reading.

 

“This better be important,” Pidge huffed. Keith subtly elbowed her even though he wasn’t too keen on being ripped from his tasks either.

“Soooo we’re clearly not under attack…” Hunk started.

Shiro quirked a brow, “Why did you call us?”

Allura gave a blinding smile, one she clearly learned from Lance, and clapped her hands giddily. “Recently it has come to my attention how little I know about Earth culture, which is simply unacceptable considering we are on our way there. So Lance and I have decided to throw what you call a ‘Slumber Party’,” she looked towards Lance for correction and he only nodded. “It seems like a perfect opportunity for bonding!”

Dead silence blanketed the room.

Matt was the one to awkwardly break it. “Was it really necessary to use the speakers?”

Allura slightly bristled but continued on, “We shall meet in the lounge in a varga! Wear your comfort clothes! That is all.” 

 

Everyone awkwardly cleared the bridge before the slumber party. Allura looked slightly dejected but Lance smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.

“C’mon ‘Lura, think we can get the mice to join too?”

Her eyes lit up again and they ran off to gather everything they would need.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone go yell at me!!  
> https://linktr.ee/fructosefolk


	5. Mother Son Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Krolia have a short chat.

Krolia began to head back to the training room with Keith trailing close behind her.

“Are you gonna join them tonight?” She asked, not bothering to look behind her because she could hear her son’s footsteps.

“Oh uh I don’t know,” he stuttered. “I haven’t exactly had the typical Earth experience so I don’t know how much I actually have to share.”

Krolia furrowed her brows. “But you will also miss the chance to learn about other cultures.”

“I guess but I’m not all that interested in Altea to be fully honest.”

“Allura and Coran probably know the most about early Galra culture than anyone besides the ancients themselves. They lived before Zarkon was corrupted.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Keith smiled.

“I cannot wait for you to learn about the good days, Keith. Maybe you can find something Galra to be proud of.” She smiled in return.

“I’m already proud of you, Mom.”

Her chest surged with pride. Shiro, Heath, and The Blades had raised a good man.

“Let’s go get ready, shall we?”

They walked back to their rooms with warm feelings and peaceful hearts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ones kind of short. Slumber party is coming soon!


End file.
